"Celebrate Independence!" by JB
Happy belated 4th to all of my U.S.A. readers, and (to my absolute astonishment that you’re out there…) Happy Tuesday to my international readers.
It occurred to me (after rereading my last contribution to Chic & Bubbly,) that it may be a wise decision to introduce myself and give a little insight to where these astounding words of wisdom come from.
First, I am not a professional. I have no formal training in psychobabble or mediation. I’m not a doctor. I don’t even play one on TV. What I DO have is experience. Of course, in the wise words of Crowded House frontman Neil Finn, “Experience is cheap.” Take that however you want to, but I’ve run the gamut of relationships: good, bad, ugly, committed, non-committed, real, fake, laughable… you name it. I can’t provide you with invaluable advice, or maybe I can, but what I definitely, 100%, without a shadow of a doubt CAN give is… a whole lot of hilariously funny depictions of actual events that might make you smile and say, “Wow. It could be a lot worse.” Or, make you laugh your ass off at my expense. Either way, if that happens for any one of you who read this, then mission accomplished.
Secondly, I am not in any sort of relationship right now. Shock, Horror! OMG EVEN!!! Oh well. That’s the reality of MY situation, but you know what? It works for me. So why would you want to listen to what I have to say about relationships? A) It’s funny, 2) Maybe you don’t, and 3) As long as you take everything that I say with a grain of salt, who knows, you may just walk away with a piece of insight you hadn’t had before.
But, my confession above leads to a topic of conversation brought up by a good friend of mine and a fellow single girl (Kudos, S.L.!): Why can’t girls just learn how to be single?
I find this topic perfectly suitable for this week; the week of July 4 and American independence.
Ok, not gonna lie. Sometimes being single flat out sucks. You don’t want to go to that party alone. You’re sick of spending the night with a Lean Cuisine, a cheap bottle of wine and Sex and the City reruns on E! (Me.) You’re worried about hitting the town and running into your ex… or worse, yet… people s/he knows…and being alone (Chic & Bubbly.) Your parents are whining about grandchildren. (NOT Me. Thanks, Mom.) You hate being alone when there’s a huge thunderstorm and the power goes out (Me again.) Anyway, whatever your reasons… you know it, I know it. But hey, we make do with what we’ve got, right? And we’ve got some pretty awesomely badass single lady power going on!
I, personally, am very lucky to be surrounded by really strong women. Some of them don’t have the slightest clue of how strong they actually are. They’ve been beaten down and broken emotionally, mentally and physically, and yet they provide more love and support for the people around them than people who’ve never known the pain of real heartbreak. My mission is to make these (you) women see that while being single may suck from time to time, it also opens a world of possibility for you to be yourselves. Singularly, ultimately, absolutely, and unequivocally YOU.
For those of you who may be reading this saying, “Whatevs, JB. Single = Crap. Shut up.” I challenge you to challenge yourselves. Get out of your comfort zone, even if it’s just one time, this week. Do a little soul searching. Figure out what you want for yourself and make it happen. When push comes to shove, you’re all you’ve got. I dare you to see that movie you’ve been holding out on seeing, or head to one of your old hot spots and chance running in to someone you may know. Have a piña colada and get caught in the rain. I triple dog dare you.
True story: I went through a really spectacularly terrible breakup last year. It took me about 6 months to be able to force myself out of the funk and into reality. The reality was: There’s no one here to make you feel like this anymore. You’re left with you, which means that you are the problem. It’s a lot to take in when you’re telling yourself that you actually ARE your own worst enemy. But it’s also the most empowering discovery you can make. For me, it’s what made me decide to get my life on track. Remember who I was—who I AM—when I’m just me. I learned that I like myself a whole lot better when I’m staying true to myself. Single girl and all. Whad’ya know? Practice DOES make perfect.
It’s hard sometimes. It can be scary. It can be frustrating, maddening, depressing and lots of other gerunds. And, of course, I know you want to share your life with someone—that’s only natural. And from the bottom of my heart I wish sincerely that you all find that forever kind of love. All I’m saying is that, being single ain’t so bad either. Use this time to get to know you. Do everything you’ve always wanted. Make your own dreams come true. Why wait? When you find someone who completes you, you’ll have new dreams to chase and you’ll make those happen together.
It occurred to me (after rereading my last contribution to Chic & Bubbly,) that it may be a wise decision to introduce myself and give a little insight to where these astounding words of wisdom come from.
First, I am not a professional. I have no formal training in psychobabble or mediation. I’m not a doctor. I don’t even play one on TV. What I DO have is experience. Of course, in the wise words of Crowded House frontman Neil Finn, “Experience is cheap.” Take that however you want to, but I’ve run the gamut of relationships: good, bad, ugly, committed, non-committed, real, fake, laughable… you name it. I can’t provide you with invaluable advice, or maybe I can, but what I definitely, 100%, without a shadow of a doubt CAN give is… a whole lot of hilariously funny depictions of actual events that might make you smile and say, “Wow. It could be a lot worse.” Or, make you laugh your ass off at my expense. Either way, if that happens for any one of you who read this, then mission accomplished.
Secondly, I am not in any sort of relationship right now. Shock, Horror! OMG EVEN!!! Oh well. That’s the reality of MY situation, but you know what? It works for me. So why would you want to listen to what I have to say about relationships? A) It’s funny, 2) Maybe you don’t, and 3) As long as you take everything that I say with a grain of salt, who knows, you may just walk away with a piece of insight you hadn’t had before.
But, my confession above leads to a topic of conversation brought up by a good friend of mine and a fellow single girl (Kudos, S.L.!): Why can’t girls just learn how to be single?
I find this topic perfectly suitable for this week; the week of July 4 and American independence.
Ok, not gonna lie. Sometimes being single flat out sucks. You don’t want to go to that party alone. You’re sick of spending the night with a Lean Cuisine, a cheap bottle of wine and Sex and the City reruns on E! (Me.) You’re worried about hitting the town and running into your ex… or worse, yet… people s/he knows…and being alone (Chic & Bubbly.) Your parents are whining about grandchildren. (NOT Me. Thanks, Mom.) You hate being alone when there’s a huge thunderstorm and the power goes out (Me again.) Anyway, whatever your reasons… you know it, I know it. But hey, we make do with what we’ve got, right? And we’ve got some pretty awesomely badass single lady power going on!
I, personally, am very lucky to be surrounded by really strong women. Some of them don’t have the slightest clue of how strong they actually are. They’ve been beaten down and broken emotionally, mentally and physically, and yet they provide more love and support for the people around them than people who’ve never known the pain of real heartbreak. My mission is to make these (you) women see that while being single may suck from time to time, it also opens a world of possibility for you to be yourselves. Singularly, ultimately, absolutely, and unequivocally YOU.
For those of you who may be reading this saying, “Whatevs, JB. Single = Crap. Shut up.” I challenge you to challenge yourselves. Get out of your comfort zone, even if it’s just one time, this week. Do a little soul searching. Figure out what you want for yourself and make it happen. When push comes to shove, you’re all you’ve got. I dare you to see that movie you’ve been holding out on seeing, or head to one of your old hot spots and chance running in to someone you may know. Have a piña colada and get caught in the rain. I triple dog dare you.
True story: I went through a really spectacularly terrible breakup last year. It took me about 6 months to be able to force myself out of the funk and into reality. The reality was: There’s no one here to make you feel like this anymore. You’re left with you, which means that you are the problem. It’s a lot to take in when you’re telling yourself that you actually ARE your own worst enemy. But it’s also the most empowering discovery you can make. For me, it’s what made me decide to get my life on track. Remember who I was—who I AM—when I’m just me. I learned that I like myself a whole lot better when I’m staying true to myself. Single girl and all. Whad’ya know? Practice DOES make perfect.
It’s hard sometimes. It can be scary. It can be frustrating, maddening, depressing and lots of other gerunds. And, of course, I know you want to share your life with someone—that’s only natural. And from the bottom of my heart I wish sincerely that you all find that forever kind of love. All I’m saying is that, being single ain’t so bad either. Use this time to get to know you. Do everything you’ve always wanted. Make your own dreams come true. Why wait? When you find someone who completes you, you’ll have new dreams to chase and you’ll make those happen together.
Comments
Post a Comment